Final Blog post for today Oct. 18th, 2006

Raindrops keep falling on my head...
I do not like the cold rain; I love rain and thunderstorms; but this cold rain is bad.  I feel bad for my pops; some people know he is a Gas Man.  He works for Northern Illinois Gas; otherwise known as NICOR.  He is also a union delegate; which explains a lot about my character and personality.  Growing up in an Union household taught me about politics and speaking your mind for the greater good.  Two qualities I am thankful to have.  My dad works hard to support his family.  I am not under his umbrella anymore; obviously.  But he breaks his back and his body day in and day out for my sisters.  He is a great man; I kind of wish he had that mentality when I was a kid.  But I have no regrets; our relationship is definitely a thousand times better than it was 15 years ago.  But I love the guy; and we don't share those sentimentalities in person.  Like I said; A Union House; which means the guys are loud mouthed; rib jabbing; sarcastic; don't show your emotions; kind of house.  But Luckily I didn't pick up all those bad traits.  I have managed to save my emotions; and I don't mind sharing them.
I am an intense individual; or so Steph tells me; but I can see her meaning sometimes.  I like to play hard; and I usually pay even harder; but hey I am usually smiling; and if I do fall down; I am usually standing back up within a few days.  Life is short and if you can't laugh at all these things; then I need to ask; What do you want out of life?
I want happiness; and humor; and good conversations next to a crackling fire.  I want to step out of my house every morning smiling; not dreading going to work or school.  I do not do things I do not want to do.  When someone asks me to do something; I think about it; I don't just give a snap answer.  Why?  Because I am not a yes man; I am a bit selfish; obviously because I am searching for my own personal happiness; but that does not make me a bad person; I am just very in tune with what makes me happy.  If you want me to like you; just give me some coffee; put on some music; and start talking to me.
That brings up a good point.  Yesterday; I was coming out of rehearsal to run across campus to do my job; and this guy looked at me for a second.  Now; I have seen this guy and talked to this guy in the past.  But yesterday he averted his eyes immediately after I looked into his eyes.  I realized why he did this.  I was wearing my Voodoo Glow Skulls hoodie; my face could use a razor; and yes I am intense when I observe my surroundings.  Could it be that this guy didn't recognize me?  And if he didn't then; why would he feel the need to look away as he passed me in the hallway?  The only answer I have; which could be the wrong answer; is that my sense of style that I have might have made him think I was just another skater student; which most people do not want to get to know.  Why?  Because most skaters speak their minds without hesitation.  I know this because all my roommates are ol' school skaters except for Jason.  But the point of this story is I thought about why the world is not as close as it was back in the 60's.  The hippies actually communicated with new faces; even those who did not look like them.  There was no judging.  I am always open for new conversation and meeting new people.  But my appearance comes off differently to people.  I am actually very intelligent and very informed on a wide variety of subjects; but people usually judge books by their cover.  Bad idea; you might just miss out on an opportunity to meet someone who is well beyond your comprehension.  I want to be proven wrong; I want to be told my opinions are wrong; I want to have endless conversations about things like 'why does Cap'n Crunch rip the roof of your mouth; when you eat it in big spoonfuls?' 
Anyway; I know I am rambling; but this is a good ramble.  I had a great night of sleep; I have a long day; and I am glad to share my inner workings with whomever wants to know. 
In Closing; Happiness is a word people use most of the time to define something they think is almost unattainable.  But my definition of happiness is:  Am I doing what I want to do today?  And if I am not?  Then what can I do today that will make me smile?  The answers are usually; get out into the world and take part in it.  Because the world is a great place to hang out in; but you got to want to be a part of it; and my arms are open for anyone that wants a piece of my happiness.  I got nothing but love for everyone who stops by here.  I love you all.  Whether you believe that or not.

Got to go...
Later on,
Kenny K.