Raking Leaves with a busted jaw Nov. 4th, 2006

I got up early today to rake my yard which I have been putting off for a few weeks.  I like to wait until all the trees on my block have lost most of them to the wind and cold.  Then I know I only have to do the chore once.  Except today was rather unusual for this yearly event.  I started raking, drank some coffee, smoked on some cigarettes, and talked on the phone, and finally got motivated to really do it all out.  So there I was half way home; well I was in my front yard so I was already home, so there I was half way to the finish line; and BAM!
I punched myself in the jaw.  The pole on the rake snapped in half as I was building a pile in the middle of the yard.  My fist with the broken half landed square on my right jaw.  I saw red immediately.  I knelt down and felt my head ache from the inside.  I really jarred my brain with the shot.  I waited for the red to subside from my vision, and then I cracked my neck.  My headache went away slowly, and I rose up.  Now in a fight I would never have knealt down obviously, but I had no opponent.  I mean who I am going to swing back at?  Myself?  So, I stood up, felt the power of anger and then tried to walk off the bad mood.  I looked back at the broken rake, I looked at the half of the pole still in my hand.  I walked over to the nearest tree and smacked it with the broken half.  'There tree; how you like that?'  Yeah it was the trees outside who started this trouble; so it was only fair I give them a smack.  I felt a little better, but  then I threw the pole into the ground and walked to the backyard and into the garage. 
I just realized I sliced my finger pretty good.  I mean typing this blog, I just realized it.  Anyway, so I was standing in the garage looking for Duct Tape; because like Kate says; Duct tape fixes everything, which I knew before Kate said it; but anyway that is who I was thinking about when I was looking for the tape.
I have to go back; before the tape, I tried to use some other cleaning poles, like the broom handle or the sledgehammer handle, but they were all reinforced with metal threads so they didn't fit in the rake.  So then I went back to the garage for the tape.  Anyway,  I started taping the broken pieces together then wrapped the twine and then taped again. 
I tell you what, when I was younger; me and Jason Callender, my best bro, used to beat each other up with axe handles, and broom sticks, and baseball bats, whatever we could get our hands on.  It was fun because that is how we learned how to fight.  We would beat the shit out of each other daily.  Then other kids starting showing up and they would join in.  By the time I was in 8th grade; there was Mike Stymic, Yarbrough and Otis Hunter, Tim Campbell, Paris Smart, Brian Franz, Mike Carmean, Chris Wacholz, Sean Paciga, etc.  We would run around looking for fights and if there was nobody around, then we would beat each other up.  All in the name of fun.  We were terrors when we were kids.  I think Jason's Dad brought out the worst in all of us though.  He was born into a mob family that ran/runs Melrose Park.  Jason's Grandfather actually has a park named after him on 25th ave.  Anyway, Jason' Dad; Sam R.I.P., would smack us around to keep us in line.  I remember when we came home drunk one weekend, his dad said we stole money from him; which we did; and he started chasing around Jason's house.  By the end of the chase, Jason had been hit in the back of the head with a marble ashtray.  He was knocked unconcious, and I just got smacked around.  Sam knew he could discipline me because he knew my mom wouldn't care.  So, for years Sam was my father figure.  What a father figure he was!!!  A mobster; just imagine any Mob movie you have ever seen, and look at the most controlled character; but the controlled one with the violent temper; that was Sam, like Robert Deniro in GoodFellas.  Slick, Cold, Calm, Collected, but you didn't want to fuck with him.  I remember one time Sam was driving down the 290 towards Hanover Park from Melrose Park, and Jason and I were having a Charlie Horse match.  We were punching each other in the back seat; back and forth; screaming and then punching harder.  Sam turned around in the driver's seat took his hands off the wheel of his Crown Victoria and practically climbed into the back seat while the car drove itself at 90 MPH.  He starts screaming; 'You two little fuckers, I swear on everything if you don't stop that crap I am going to beat the fuck out of both of you!'  Jason says; 'Dad, watch the road.'  I say; 'Sorry Sam'  Sam turns back to the driving; then Jason gives me a shot in my left thigh; I yell; Sam turns so fast and smacks me in the head; then you could feel the car swerving and slowing down because he took his foot off the gas; he reaches over his seat and punches Jason in the side of the head.  I start laughing.  'You think that's funny, when I get home I am going beat the shit out of you two.  Get Ready for an ass beatin and don't think I care about what your mother will say' pointing at me ' I got clout, I will take you two to the front steps of the Stone Park Police Dept. and suck out your fucking eyeballs and then step on em; you hear me; and if your mother has something to say about it I will do the same to her.  You two are the biggest fucking troublemakers.  When are you two going to figure out that life is not all fun and games'  He turns back around with his face all red and lights up an L&M cigarette. 
Jason and I look at each other because we knew we were screwed.  When we got back to the house, we jumped out and tried to run.  Sam chased us into the house and grabbed a pair of scissors, then he chased us through the house into the backyard and Jason and I split up I headed for the forest and got away.  Jason got the shit kicked out of him from his dad that day.  But by the end of the night; we were all sitting around the table eating a big meal and laughing about how we were both fuck ups.  Even Sam laughed at us; but he would never apologize for his actions.  WE both knew he sometimes went overboard but we antagonized him constantly.  Jason and I were just a couple of hardheads who like aggression.  Anyway, those are the people I was around most of my childhood.
So when the rake incident happened today, I almost snapped.  Sure I took some aggression out on the tree; but that was nothing compared to what I am capable of.  I am not like anymore, I have learned to control my anger.  I don't snap any more, and it took me a while to even approach the tree today, but I just felt like I needed a release.  I have had very few days off in the past three months, and I am wearing thin on my patience for things breaking.  But i feel better now that I wrote this out; and my jaw is swelled so I had better go put some ice on it.  All in good fun...
Fucking Leaves!

Hope all is well on your end.  It is all right on mine.  At least now it is...