EVERYTHING HIGHLIGHTED IS INTERMITTENT TRUTHS. I WILL NOT GO INTO DETAIL JUST TRUST ME, WHEN I SAY "HALF-TRUTHS".
Kenny
Date: June 21, 2006
Section: News
Edition: DuPage,F2,McHenry,F3
Page: 1
Section: News
Edition: DuPage,F2,McHenry,F3
Page: 1
Walking, healing after sister took own life
Teri Nosek will never know why her little sister gave up on herself.
But the Aurora woman doesn't want other people to ramble through life asking themselves the same unanswerable questions in the wake of a loved one's suicide.
"We were all just kind of grabbing at straws for healing and almost the only thing we can do at this point to make ourselves feel better is to try and help people so others don't have to go through this," Nosek said.
She is organizing a craft fair Saturday in Aurora to raise money for her participation in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's Out of the Darkness 20-mile overnight charity walk along the Chicago lakefront Aug. 12 and 13.
"This is a walk that begins at sundown and ends around sunrise the next day," said William Gerard, the national organization's director of development. "Our whole campaign is bringing mental illness and suicide out of the dark so people will see this is a real problem and affects everyone equally."
Participants have to raise $1,000 from sponsors to walk. This is Chicago's second year holding an event that blossomed out of a march in 2002 in Washington, D.C. Nosek raised $1,600 last year, while the entire event took in $1.35 million.
This year's walks will take place in Chicago and San Francisco, and organizers are hoping to raise $2.5 million for suicide prevention. About 1,500 walkers will participate in both events, Gerard said.
"It's such an epidemic in this country," Nosek said. "But nobody talks about it."
Nosek runs a small business involving pre-packaged gourmet meals. She'll be selling a variety of foods at the fundraising fair, while a dozen other vendors will be offering crafts and goods, including quilts and art.
The fair will be from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Alden Gardens at 2021 Randi Drive in southeast Aurora.
Nosek's involvement in suicide prevention charities makes her feel her sister's death was not in vain.
"It's five years this month that we lost her," she said. "All you can do at this point is try to make something good out of it."
Lost soul
Beth Ann Christensen was 21 when she hanged herself in a prison cell at the Dwight Correctional Facility.
She had been a heroin junkie for nearly a quarter of her life.
The youngest of four children, her family had no idea she was dabbling in drugs until she was arrested at 18.
"Our whole family was very involved with her from that point," Nosek said. "We all went down to the courthouse to get her and were very involved with her and we were trying to find her a halfway house."
She seemed to recover and then relapsed throughout the next three years. Christensen's parents and siblings tried everything to get her help.
"Heroin has a low recovery rate," Nosek said. "At one point my brothers and I tried the tough-love approach with her by not offering her anything unless she went to rehab."
Christensen was nabbed for shoplifting, which violated her parole, and she was shipped to Dwight.
In prison and not being properly treated for heroin withdrawal, Christensen was desperate for help.
"She called and we talked and she told me she didn't think she could make it," Nosek said. "I told her that she could and to be strong."
Nosek said that during the coroner's inquest the family learned Christensen spent three days making a rope out of her bed sheets. She killed herself on her fourth day in prison, Nosek said.
"They put her in a cell and left her there. She was supposed to be transferred," Nosek said. "My feeling is she got in there and was feeling very helpless and was feeling there was no one there to help her and she just gave up. She took the Bible and left it open to a passage about good versus evil, and that was the only thing she could tell us."
Cathartic journey
Family and friends of people who commit suicide are left with equal feelings of sorrow and guilt, Nosek said.
It's the guilt that often prevents people from talking about the impact the suicide has left on the living.
The overnight walk can offer a catharsis that wasn't previously available to those who lost loved ones to suicide.
"I am amazed at how many people in my personal life will finally admit that this has touched them that had never admitted it to me before I took this job," Gerard said. "We have people who met at that original event in 2002 who are still friends."
Nosek said her mother was lost after her sister killed herself.
"It was so great for my mom to come with me to the walk last year," Nosek said. "She didn't do the walk, but she supported me and she met so many people who had lost their children. It was the first time she had talked to anybody who was in the same boat as she was. My mom was a different person after coming out that day. It helped a lot."
Gerard said participants are given different-colored necklaces depending on how suicide has affected their lives.
"This way people can communicate without really having to speak," he said.
Nosek said her entire family is committed to working with suicide prevention charities. Her brother began a golf outing a few years ago with the benefits going toward research on depression and other mental illnesses.
But the walk holds a special place in Nosek's heart.
"It means so much to me now that I never imagined," she said. "It's bittersweet because you do feel like you're not alone anymore, but then you also realize why you're there and everyone else is, too."
Teri Nosek of Aurora displays gourmet foods she'll be offering at an event Saturday to raise money so she can participate in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's Out of the Darkness walk.
But the Aurora woman doesn't want other people to ramble through life asking themselves the same unanswerable questions in the wake of a loved one's suicide.
"We were all just kind of grabbing at straws for healing and almost the only thing we can do at this point to make ourselves feel better is to try and help people so others don't have to go through this," Nosek said.
She is organizing a craft fair Saturday in Aurora to raise money for her participation in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's Out of the Darkness 20-mile overnight charity walk along the Chicago lakefront Aug. 12 and 13.
"This is a walk that begins at sundown and ends around sunrise the next day," said William Gerard, the national organization's director of development. "Our whole campaign is bringing mental illness and suicide out of the dark so people will see this is a real problem and affects everyone equally."
Participants have to raise $1,000 from sponsors to walk. This is Chicago's second year holding an event that blossomed out of a march in 2002 in Washington, D.C. Nosek raised $1,600 last year, while the entire event took in $1.35 million.
This year's walks will take place in Chicago and San Francisco, and organizers are hoping to raise $2.5 million for suicide prevention. About 1,500 walkers will participate in both events, Gerard said.
"It's such an epidemic in this country," Nosek said. "But nobody talks about it."
Nosek runs a small business involving pre-packaged gourmet meals. She'll be selling a variety of foods at the fundraising fair, while a dozen other vendors will be offering crafts and goods, including quilts and art.
The fair will be from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Alden Gardens at 2021 Randi Drive in southeast Aurora.
Nosek's involvement in suicide prevention charities makes her feel her sister's death was not in vain.
"It's five years this month that we lost her," she said. "All you can do at this point is try to make something good out of it."
Lost soul
Beth Ann Christensen was 21 when she hanged herself in a prison cell at the Dwight Correctional Facility.
She had been a heroin junkie for nearly a quarter of her life.
The youngest of four children, her family had no idea she was dabbling in drugs until she was arrested at 18.
"Our whole family was very involved with her from that point," Nosek said. "We all went down to the courthouse to get her and were very involved with her and we were trying to find her a halfway house."
She seemed to recover and then relapsed throughout the next three years. Christensen's parents and siblings tried everything to get her help.
"Heroin has a low recovery rate," Nosek said. "At one point my brothers and I tried the tough-love approach with her by not offering her anything unless she went to rehab."
Christensen was nabbed for shoplifting, which violated her parole, and she was shipped to Dwight.
In prison and not being properly treated for heroin withdrawal, Christensen was desperate for help.
"She called and we talked and she told me she didn't think she could make it," Nosek said. "I told her that she could and to be strong."
Nosek said that during the coroner's inquest the family learned Christensen spent three days making a rope out of her bed sheets. She killed herself on her fourth day in prison, Nosek said.
"They put her in a cell and left her there. She was supposed to be transferred," Nosek said. "My feeling is she got in there and was feeling very helpless and was feeling there was no one there to help her and she just gave up. She took the Bible and left it open to a passage about good versus evil, and that was the only thing she could tell us."
Cathartic journey
Family and friends of people who commit suicide are left with equal feelings of sorrow and guilt, Nosek said.
It's the guilt that often prevents people from talking about the impact the suicide has left on the living.
The overnight walk can offer a catharsis that wasn't previously available to those who lost loved ones to suicide.
"I am amazed at how many people in my personal life will finally admit that this has touched them that had never admitted it to me before I took this job," Gerard said. "We have people who met at that original event in 2002 who are still friends."
Nosek said her mother was lost after her sister killed herself.
"It was so great for my mom to come with me to the walk last year," Nosek said. "She didn't do the walk, but she supported me and she met so many people who had lost their children. It was the first time she had talked to anybody who was in the same boat as she was. My mom was a different person after coming out that day. It helped a lot."
Gerard said participants are given different-colored necklaces depending on how suicide has affected their lives.
"This way people can communicate without really having to speak," he said.
Nosek said her entire family is committed to working with suicide prevention charities. Her brother began a golf outing a few years ago with the benefits going toward research on depression and other mental illnesses.
But the walk holds a special place in Nosek's heart.
"It means so much to me now that I never imagined," she said. "It's bittersweet because you do feel like you're not alone anymore, but then you also realize why you're there and everyone else is, too."
Teri Nosek of Aurora displays gourmet foods she'll be offering at an event Saturday to raise money so she can participate in the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's Out of the Darkness walk.
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