What a weekend July 23rd, 2007

This blog is not movie related!
Friday I went to see 'I Now Pronounce You, Chuck and Larry' and I thought it was great.  Nicole seemed to like it too.  After the movie, Oak Park was packed with people awaiting the new Harry Potter book.  We were walking down Lake street trying to maneuver through the crowd.  I grabbed Nicole's hand and started the fight...I was being squeezed by an over bearing father with a stroller, not to mention this little person trying to dart and weave but looking at him made me wonder if he had any sense of direction at all...I thought he was with the stroller Dad, but he wasn't, he darted for the Starbucks, but I was moving to fast to stop, so I cut him off, he then was stopped from going by the connection between Nicole and I holding hands.  Later I quipped to Nicole about how I should have just threw his little ass into the street to get hit by a car, thus ending one less kid's chance of growing up in a world where Harry Potter books break records.  But I was just kidding, a little of my sadistic humor to get laughs.  I mean the Stroller Dad ran over the heel of the foot, and I was wearing my converse, so the canvas has no protection from a steamrolling father trying to use his kid and stroller to remove those in his path to freedom....I should have just kicked back and watch him wipe out into the garbage can like an off road Nascar race...Again, Just kidding!
So Saturday, Nicole came by again and we went and rented a movie, got some dinner and hit up Dominicks because I needed some more soda.  We were standing in line, and Nicole had been at the Renaissance Faire in WI all day, so she still had the face paint around her right eye...This lady in front of us kept turning and staring.  I let the first 4 stares go, sure people look at other people when they are wearing face paint and it is not football season.  However, the 5th stare was too much.  I started talking very loud, even though I was talking to Nicole, I made sure the old woman could hear me.  The sad thing is; I think she was Polish and didn't understand English.  I say this because of the problem she had trying to pay after the cashier told her what the amount of her bill was.  Anyway, I ranted for about 30 seconds, and she never looked at Nicole again with those cold hearted stares!  Problem solved.  I stick up for people, even though Nicole didn't want me too, I think she would rather me be passive, but I just can't be that way.  I have to speak my mind, remember, Brutally Honesty?  So while we were driving home, I ranted about how I should have gave her a body slam on the conveyor belt.  I got the laughs again because my sarcastic rants are all in good fun and I am just trying to make fun of myself, because I know I can be overbearing at times.  Anyway, Nicole thinks I am nuts, but she is right.
So comes Sunday, not much action, lots of Jaw pain again, stayed in, painted, chilled...Enter Monday....
Today, I go to work, usually routine.  Johnny asks me if I want to go with him to Naperville to check out this new video store that just opened.  I said sure, but I want to take my bike home first.  He says, no we can just put it on the roof...He has a bike rack on his new Passat.  So I am hesitant, but I finally agree.  We start driving and I start thinking about clearance levels of bridges, etc.  Johnny tells me we are not going to any parking garages or drive thrus, so we are cool...I shrug it off.  We make it to the new video store and I wander around while Johnny looks for a specific movie (hence the reason for the ride).  I have a sales associate ask me if I needed any help, I tell him 'no' just waiting for my buddy to find what he needs.  I mean, there were a ton of movies, but I have seen them in other places and for about the same prices.  There were a few I would have bought that were a buck or so cheaper, and some I have never seen on sale anywhere else, but I don't have the cash flow to buy that stuff right now.  So I find the bathroom and wander over to it.  I take a piss, and start washing my hands.  The same sales guy swings open the door really fast and is startled by me standing there by the sink looking at him in the mirror.  He looks behind the door and then leaves right away.  So I follow him out and stare at him for a few seconds...I know what he is up too.  Another employee opens a door and changes direction and slips into the open door, so I head back into the main part of the store.  I know he thinks he was being slick and trying to 'catch a thief' if you will, but the bottom line is I never gave him a reason to suspect that or to act the way he was acting.  If anything he was the one looking suspicious.  I say this, because I never picked up any merchandise the whole time I was in the store.  I knew I wasn't buying anything, so there would be no point in browsing.  Anyway, he is peeking and ducking around aisles, but this guy is over 6 feet tall, so the only way to hide behind shelves is to duck, which he was doing, so I called him out.  I started talking out loud to Johnny, 'Hey, you know what I hate? I hate when rent a cops think they are so smart, yet they are not smart enough to get the badge and the gun like a real cop.  Instead they spend their time wandering around suspecting those who shouldn't be suspect, and letting those that should steal everything.  I wish this guy would quit sneaking around, like I don't know what he is doing.'  Johnny says, 'It's same way we did it at Rolling Stones!'  But Johnny always forgets that I worked at Stones too in the early 90's as a Quality Control Employee.  So I know what is involved.  The problem here is; not that he was doing his job, that was fine with me, the problem is that he was still sneaking around after he knew I knew he was watching me.  I told him I knew and yet he still continued to do it.  He lost the element of surprise.  Why keep up the charade?  Not to mention, he was wrong about me...So, Johnny told me I should just chill, and I said I am going outside, because I just can't keep my mouth shut...I say the world needs to be out in the open, not tucked away in the dark...Let's talk, let's communicate, more can be accomplished...
Moving on, so Johnny asks me if I want to go with him to downtown Naperville and get some coffee.  I said sure I am not doing anything.  The girlfriend is doing Karaoke...So we start driving towards the river.  Johnny has Satellite radio and we were listening to the comedy channel.  It was funny, there were four guys doing a skit about this guy's cock.  'Hey man what are you doing?'  'I am pulling out my cock'  'Why would you do that around us?'  'Well, I was looking at it this morning and I think it is beautiful'  'Well, I am out of here, this is Squaresville'  'Tommy?  Tommy?  What are you doing?'  'He's staring at it!' 'No I am not, I was looking past it.'  'Yeah whatever, Squaresville!'  'Wow, you know it is kind of cool looking'  'Oh man, I am so out of here' 'Hey he is right, look at it, it looks like a trunk of Sequoia' 'Yeah, but with veins.' 'Or a baby seal wrapped in a blanket'  'Yeah, but with veins' 'Hey you guys want to see me do a trick with it?'  'No, Squaresville population 3!'  'Oh lighten up, yeah let's see it'  'Ok, I need one of you to hold it up like this.'  'Oh man, this is crazy'  CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah that's right, Johnny pulls into a parking garage!  Remember the whole 'clearance' conversation a few paragraphs ago?  Yep, my bike didn't make it, flew off the bike rack, bent Johnny's new rack on his car, crushed my bike, I had to dismantle it, and it is trashed.  The frame is good, which is the important part, but the wheels and brakes and gear shifters and a few other things are just fucked.  The great thing is, this actually cheered me up...Yeah I know I am bi-polar in the wrong way.  Anyway, I laughed at this, the craziness of my life.  I mean it's just a bike, and people make mistakes...Sure I should be like that for the kid in Oak Park, or the old lady in Dominicks, or the security at the DVD store, but I don't know any of those people, Johnny I know, I don't treat my friends like that, only people I don't know.  But Johnny felt really bad, and I just laughed it off, shit happens, it is an expensive bike, but I can fix it...I have wiped it before, and had to take it in, some of you remember it.  Anyway, it was quite an eventful weekend full of sarcasm and excitement.  I just got home a little while ago and felt that blogging this would be better if I did it when it was fresh....

I am out of here...The bike is put back together, but I can't use the brakes right now, so until the weekend I am going to be riding without brakes.

Later
Things are really good, It really was a funny moment in my life, and I hope Johnny doesn't take it to heart, I will not hold it against him...NO Harm, NO foul!