Yeah; So I do things I want, so what? Oct. 22nd, 2006

Alright; so I am a busy guy; everyone knows this.  I go to work; school; do some acting; host a radio show; and still I have this empty feeling.  I am becoming complacent.  NO; I am not going back out there.  That is a useless way to live.  I just mean I am bettering myself; and I feel great; but fuck man; I spend my free time on this fucking computer because of the weather outside.  I am a guy who goes and does things on my day off; but this weekend and next are performance dates which means I have no days off.  So 14 days straight and the enjoyment I should be getting out in the world; I have to find here.
Which is why I am blogging this tonight.  I found a lot of enjoyment in the past two hours.  I have been reading someone elses blogs.  I have come to realize that I am not the only brutally honest person out there.  Now; I know that others say they are honest like me; but that is not true.  I have learned that just by having conversations with them over and over again; and learning the mistakes they slip up in.  The little lies.  Those are the ones that kill you.  Everyone knows I used to preach; not religion preach either; but preach none the less; then I realized I was more focused on others than myself.  Why because I didn't want to change.  So here we are four years later; and the changes have been completed for some time.  But I am still the obnoxious; tell you how it is; even if you try to bust my lip; guy who doesn't take the shit from anyone.  My boss passed me on my promotion over the summer because of this.  I guess the upper administration couldn't handle my brutal honesty.  I don't kiss ass; sorry Kurt.  You're cool; but your bosses...  I was a little bitter; but the reality is I would have been miserable changing jobs.  Money is not a motivator for me; and most of my friends know this.  I make money; and I pay the bills; but I am not going to sell my soul for Uncle Sam's paper exchange. 
Anyway; I just like myself because I tell it like it is.  I was in one of my acting classes last week and the professor pulls me aside. *how's the show going?*
*Well Ric, I have a problem with taking direction.  But I know if I want to direct then I should get off the stage.*
He says *Well put; that's right; and then he starts telling me of a time when he was fired from a show because he couldn't take direction.*
*I try Ric; but I just can't get along with my director; he is an eccentric asshole who tried to tell me he collects an equity retirement; and how he worked in the industry long enough to actually get paid until he dies; even if he never works again.  Money doesn't motivate me Ric; I act because I want to act.  I like the stage; I like playing characters.  I yelled back at him on Saturday Ric.  I told him how his ideas are not how I envision my character; he can direct all he wants; but no director tells actors how to play a character.  If he wants to act then quit directing*
*Good point Ken; you know I never put my finger on it before; but now I know why I like you so much.  Since I met you a year ago; I realize you are stubborn and tell people what's on your mind with no holds barred.  I admire that quality.*
*Yeah Ric, I grew up in a Union household.  My father is a Union delegate; so nothing but rib jabbing; and Man Ups and Adda Boys; day in and day out.*
The point of telling you this conversation is that I am glad someone finally respects my position on total honesty.  Total and complete throwing it in your face; and I know you don't want to hear it; honesty.  This is why my roomies don't ask me my opinion anymore on their lives because they don't want the truth.  Most of the world would be happy being lied too and told how great life is; and how everything will be alright tomorrow.  Well; I don't know if I will see tomorrow; so I am going to tell you how it is today.
On a different note; I had an argument in my Geography class about making schools in the US force students to learn a second language.  This topic came up because of the immigration problem from South of the border; and I made my comments about how you should learn the language of the country you plan on living in; even if you are just visiting; you should at least want to learn to communicate.  Somebody replied to me asking me if I was a racist...LOL.  Can you believe that?  Me; a racist.  I told them hell no; I don't judge!  I am an American; my family came here from Germany 80 years ago; and I am more proud of my German heritage than anything else but I am still American.  Many Kirschnicks bled for this land to stay free; and then I told this person how I just don't think American children should be forced to learn Spanish because of the large numbers of immigrants.  Americans voted on this in the 1700's and German lost by one vote to be the national language.  I am not bitching and moaning because nobody speaks German; I am in America and I speak English; and when i go to get a burrito; I shouldn't have to order it in Spanish just because the food is.  I speak a little Spanish because of working at McDonald's years ago; and I speak French; a little German (thanks Uncle Fred) but you got to be crazy if you think I would vote for a law that would force kids to learn Spanish because of the growing number of immigrants.  I didn't actually say all of that; but that was the jist of it.  I finished out with a very important fact.  I don't like a lot of people.  But I don't judge.  But don't expect me to be all happy when I am surrounded by a group of people I don't like.  Am I supposed to smile when I am getting shafted without the KY too?