Today is that dreaded day July 27th, 2009

I am off to the courthouse in a few minutes.  I figured I would blog one last time.  I have not found any serenity or peace of mind lately.  I would like to say that I wish this past year was a bit different.  I wish I could have made choices to make this easier, but I don't live with regrets.  Life is what it is.  I cannot control the things that happen to me or others in my world.  I can apologize for any pain and hurt I might have caused, but I cannot say I regret my decisions.  I make the best possible choices at the moment due to the circumstances and information presented at that time.  I am not saying those choices are the best because they seem to not be when using hindsight.  This does not change anything, nor does it make it right.  I am just stating the obvious.

As for other stuff, well I worked out a deal with school to enable me to continue my M.A. without hindering my fall semester.  I still owe my school a lot of money, but I negotiated a deal for them to be paid the remainder out of my fall monies. 

I might never understand life with a God-like perception, but I do understand it enough to know that every moment that passes could bring pain or happiness.  Sometimes it is unbearable, but pushing through those bad times to the good times is the important part.  I am a bit worried about going back to jail.  I haven't been there for over 6 years, and the last few times I did a lot of fighting.  Knuckles are the warden in that environment.  I guess I am prepared for anything, but I do not like to have to revert back to my animal nature.  I do not want to fight for survival with violence.  I would rather use logic, but it is what it is.

I want to have my book finished and on book shelves by October, but this might be a problem if I don't get my editing done.  I might be changing publishers, but the current conversation with the new publisher has to be put on hold until I get home.  I am going to start writing my new book in the fall.  It will be a fictional horror story.  Then I will finish my American Convict book.  My uncle gets out of prison in a few weeks, and he has been gone for almost 6 years.  So I am going to pick his brain on some of my philosophical thoughts concerning the prison system and the police state we find ourselves living in.  I was reading some research articles concerning this situation and found that 20% of the U.S. States' prison populations are drug offenders.  To add to this, the Federal system has almost 50% of its population that are drug offenders.  What type of system is this?

I mean I understand that drugs are illegal, and the War on Drugs is a money maker.  It creates jobs, and it is big business.  But who pays the price?  Is it the people of the U.S., the convicts, or society?  This is the premise behind American Convict.

Well I have to go...