Life! June 4th, 2008

Life today is not the same as it was yesterday or the day before...

Yesterday was the anniversary of Beth's death.  June 3rd is always a weird day for me.  Yesterday lived up to the hype.  Ups and downs!  I think I am destined for a life of individuality.  No significant other, just me.  Life!  If somebody told me all the woes that were in store for me when I was a kid, I would have offed myself then.  I am not depressed at the moment, although it sounds like it.  I am used to this type of living, this type of thinking, this type of Life!  R.I.P. Beth.

As for everything else, well I just found out that I will not get my school money until July.  Well some of it will be deposited in my account this week, but I thought all of it would be.  So I have to wait until July.  This is going to cause some issues in the upcoming weeks.  I was planning on paying off my lease, and moving!  Now; I might have to stay here until the end of July.  Not good!  I really need a new location.

The play opens tomorrow night.  That is the high point in my life at the moment.  I just cannot concentrate on anything else for the moment.

Life; just as the heading says, some days it is misery that I enjoy, or chaos, or serenity, but the bottom line is that I have wake up and live no matter what.  I am stuck in the cycle of life that I never dreamed would be my life.  I am out of options, and money is really tight.  I am grinding weekly.  Some of you know what that means, so I will just leave it at that.  Hopefully I can get a good run of cards soon!  A playable hand that fills my pockets with green paper!

It is painful for me to be alive at the moment.  It hurts to just open my eyes, maybe tomorrow will be my day!!!  But more than likely not, 'You have to go through Hell before you get to Heaven!'

Manana!