Life is that bad beat that busts your bankroll Apr. 10th, 2008

Lately life is a bit turbulent.  I am staying grounded and the hand I have been dealt I would normally fold, but I have been forced all-in by the blind bets.  I would love to say that the flop has been kind to me and would allow me to see the next hand, but right now it is not looking good.  The flop totally missed me on this hand, and I awaiting the turn card to see if I can maybe pull off a miracle.  If that doesn't work out then there is always the river card.  I am not sure what the future holds, but I am sticking around because there is still a chance for a winning hand.
Now that I finished my poker lingo in response to life at the moment, I suppose I can leave the gambling rhetoric behind and quit speaking in tongues.  I have about 40 pages of assignments to write out by Tuesday of next week.  Not to mention, the 3 video projects I have to help finish by the end of next week.  I am taking Summer school to get a boost in aid from school to help with the finances.  My wife and daughter are moving up here in June (at least that's the plan) and the finances are tight.  I do not like working under these conditions and it is starting to affect my mental health.  I am motivated and driven at the moment, but the rest of my life outside of school is up for grabs.  I never regret or have regretted anything in life and today is not any different.  My recent marriage is and was the right thing for me to do at this stage in my life.  Now that it is done the next stage of my grandiose plans are a bit stalled.  This is not un-fixable, but it is a bit of problem at the moment that I cannot seem to find a solution for today.  So I will just continue to focus on school, which finishes in 2 weeks.  I think for sanity's sake that is my best option, and the most intelligent option.
    As for school, I am taking summer school for the extra money, but also to graduate this year so I can get into the work force and really produce an income for my new family.  I have spoken with both of my advisors; communication and history majors; and they both have told me I am on track to graduate with honors in both degrees.  It looks like I made the right choice last year when I decided to go for both degrees.  I need 9 hours in Comm, and 12 in History, and I have 24 hours to work with in the next 2 semesters.  This means I can take one extra class, so I am thinking of taking French again to touch up on my French.  I would continue to learn Arabic, but I think that would be more work than I can handle in the fall.  So there it is, life is just 2 cards against 10 players and my all-in moment.  What happens in the next few weeks is up to God.  Not that I am worried because I do have faith in my abilities and skills as person.  Having my back up against the wall is just another day in the life...
    I am still networking, and I am applying to UCLA for graduate school.  That is my life.  Happily married to a wife I love, and a father/dad to a daughter, living life one day at a time because that is what I learned, and that is the only way my serenity levels can stay in a constant, positive state.  I hope that anyone who reads this finds or has the same optimism as I have for the outcome.  However, we all know my pessimism is at the forefront of my life.  I think the worst and when the worst happens I will not be disappointed, which is why life is not all that bad today even though there are some bad things happening at the moment.  The bottom line is; How much can you control?  I cannot control much, but the things I can control, I am controlling to the best of my ability.  Those other things???  I guess we just have to wait and see...


Later
Kenny