People come and go! May 26th, 2008

I have travelled in many circles in my life.  I have met so many people from so many walks of life.  I try to use this life experience of mine in all aspects of my life.  But sometimes I even fail to read the situation as it is presented.  Case in point, I was at my usual Sunday night poker game last night.  I played solid!  I mean I only played 2 hands in 4 hours.  I stayed in the game long enough to make the money.  But I was really short stacked.  Anyway, we were playing outside, and the dealer dealt me my hand and the wind or him (doesn't matter what happened) flipped the card over.  So that card was dead and there I was getting the burn card as my replacement.  It went from 6-9 suited to 9-4 off suit.  So I threw it in.  The flop came 9-6-4.  I got pissed off.  I played a solid game all day/night, and I needed one good hand to move up in the ranking on the table.  Well, that did it for me, I was done mentally.  I went to take a piss, returned, went all-in with A-J off suit, and lost.  I left pissed off, walked home and on the way a black cat crossed my path.  I realized that was a good thing.  You see, my luck doesn't work like everyone elses.  My luck runs bad, so when supertitious things happen to me that others would view as bad, I see them as good.  So I realized that I am not going to play in any more games that involve re-buys.  I am better than that.  I can win with the original stacks I am given for my original buy-in.  Playing any other way just tells me I am playing against hacks who think they can compete on a card table.  So my groups have changed recently.  I was hanging with a new group, this new group are comprised of a bunch of card players.  But I am changing direction yet again.  I will keep my weekly game at Jeremy's, and my friendship with people like Sean and Marty.  I mean others are really just acquaintances.  Some of them are good people, but we are not close and the only real connection I have with them is poker.  So I think I need to thin the herd.  Anyway, life is still life.  This experience just teaches me another lesson about life and myself.  And learning about myself is still the most important thing I can ask for everyday.
I quit caring what others think of me, and today Sean kept saying, "that was so not 'Kenny' last night."  Of course I had to fill him in that he has only been hanging with me for a couple of months, and he really doesn't know me as well as he would like to think.  I don't care what people think of me, I live life how I know best.  If I offend someone throughout my travels. "Fuck 'em" they will get over it.  I mean, I definitely will be over it within 48 hours.  This goes back to the many people I have come across in my life.  Look at all the dead friends, and those people who have faded away into society.  There are thousands of them that I will never see again.  Do you really think a couple of more guys who I play cards against is going to crush my thinking about society.  "Fuck 'em" they will not miss me, nor will I miss them.  Life is Life and I take my life very seriously and live it very selfishly, and those that REALLY know me, would agree with me on that point.
So here I stand, me against the world, no different than yesterday, or last year, or a decade ago.  Me Against the World, and I am still winning my fight.  I still stand here, and I still breathe, and I still LIVE!
So this is my rant and rave for the day, or the week.  Life is Life, I am only alive when I do what I want when I want to do it!  If you don't like it, move out of the way or get run over!  This is all I got for today!
Fuck 'em!

Later
Kenny