Been awhile since I wrote one. Jan. 26th, 2007

Beth visited me today.  Weirdest thing, but it wasn't til the whole situation was over that I realized why.  I totally forgot about her birthday on January 18th.  I didn't remember until after she was gone.  Sure, you probably think I am crazy, well if you really know me then you know I am crazy.  I always said that.  I don't know how I forgot about her birthday.  I guess my grieving process is coming to an end.  However, after her visit this morning, I have been consumed by my life and her in my thoughts.  What I mean is that I was moving pretty smoothly here in my Chicago life, but after her visit I was reminded about my outlook on life.  I am becoming my father, I am becoming a stationary object in a spinning world.  Something I always said I would never let myself do.  I have for the past 6 or 8 months become more and more focused on my future and my wealth.  I never cared about money and especially never about my future.  So here I am today not caring about tomorrow, and thinking of how I get back on the righteous path of my existence.  I have decided that I get my license back on June 26th 2008.  I will be removing myself from my job on the following day.  I will be taking a long road trip next summer.  The kind that would make Beth smile if she was riding shotgun.  Just like the old days.  When the wind blew and I just went with it, instead of trying to fight it off by standing still or walking into it.  I am actually considering making some adjustments this summer if it is possible.  I made this path years ago, and I am slowly slipping from what I want to do and what I should be doing.  I will continue to go to school, but everything else except my Quest has to be put on the back burner.  I realized this morning after Beth left that I was fading away, as she did in my mind.  I don't plan on celebrating her birthday anymore or her death date, but it was good to be reminded of my own thoughts and priorities.  This blog is not about her, this blog is about me and where I am supposed to be in my mind.  My outlook on my life is very good, I am smiling and happy, but I can be happier if I go back to my free spirit mentality.  I have found a sort of nirvana as of late, and now that I have been interrupted by my boss, I have lost my train of thought. 

Good things...
Kenny K.